So I've got something on my heart that apparently needs to come before homework tonight... and I have no idea what it is. I'm just going to start writing. Jesus take the wheel.
  Authenticity. Hmm. - interesting -. I think everyone craves authenticity. EVERYONE. Whether you know it or not - you crave authenticity. You crave real relationships. Real people. Pretty much anything that is exactly what it is: pure, unchanged, REAL. Sometimes I feel that more than anyone I crave people who will be real with me. People who struggle. People who need Jesus as much as I do. I so badly want to need Jesus with other people who KNOW they need Jesus too!! And ugh, I get so frustrated, frustrated because everyone wants the same thing yet no one wants to admit it. I just have a few questions: WHAT ARE WE AFRAID OF? WHAT IS IT??!! Are we afraid that we'll be alone in our struggle? Is it because Jesus doesn't love us if we're not perfect?!? Is it because you're ashamed? Is your struggle big, heavy, obnoxiously in your face? Does it need to be freed but you just can't name it as something that needs to change?? Well. Guess what. I feel. Hardcore. How could I sin, miss the mark, and still call my Father by name? How do I disrespect and disobey the one who intricately created every part of me, and He welcomes me back with open arms. Every time. How does the Lamb who was slaughtered for the sins of ALL men, look down from his thrown and care deeply for me in my 'dumb,' 'insignificant' human struggles. How on this earth does he call me HIS daughter?!!
  Well I guess it's a good thing He is not from this Earth. He CREATED this earth. And if that doesn't relinquish me from my anxieties and fears then I don't know what will.
  I think it's okay also that all of this is all over the place. I think it's totally okay and totally real to write out my thoughts and frustrations and complexities and just be ok with this blog ending in NOT having all the answers. I want to learn to invite God into my mess. And realize that I don't know what I'm doing and THAT'S OKAY. God is leading me somewhere HUGE and I feel it so strongly in my heart and I have absolutely NO CLUE what it is or where it's going, BUT THAT IS OKAY. Holy waz, does anyone else need to hear this tonight??  I have the freedom now. Freedom to explode for His Kingdom and make mistakes along the way. I can celebrate who I am and more importantly, who HE is. I don't have to be afraid of making mistakes, making everyone happy, being the 'perfect' christian... I don't even have to understand. I don't have to know. I can have child like faith: trusting completely that my Father is watching over me and guiding me and revealing to me the way he wants me to go. Friends, I have found beauty in this tonight. Thanks for tagging along :)