So I've got something on my heart that apparently needs to come before homework tonight... and I have no idea what it is. I'm just going to start writing. Jesus take the wheel.
  Authenticity. Hmm. - interesting -. I think everyone craves authenticity. EVERYONE. Whether you know it or not - you crave authenticity. You crave real relationships. Real people. Pretty much anything that is exactly what it is: pure, unchanged, REAL. Sometimes I feel that more than anyone I crave people who will be real with me. People who struggle. People who need Jesus as much as I do. I so badly want to need Jesus with other people who KNOW they need Jesus too!! And ugh, I get so frustrated, frustrated because everyone wants the same thing yet no one wants to admit it. I just have a few questions: WHAT ARE WE AFRAID OF? WHAT IS IT??!! Are we afraid that we'll be alone in our struggle? Is it because Jesus doesn't love us if we're not perfect?!? Is it because you're ashamed? Is your struggle big, heavy, obnoxiously in your face? Does it need to be freed but you just can't name it as something that needs to change?? Well. Guess what. I feel. Hardcore. How could I sin, miss the mark, and still call my Father by name? How do I disrespect and disobey the one who intricately created every part of me, and He welcomes me back with open arms. Every time. How does the Lamb who was slaughtered for the sins of ALL men, look down from his thrown and care deeply for me in my 'dumb,' 'insignificant' human struggles. How on this earth does he call me HIS daughter?!!
  Well I guess it's a good thing He is not from this Earth. He CREATED this earth. And if that doesn't relinquish me from my anxieties and fears then I don't know what will.
  I think it's okay also that all of this is all over the place. I think it's totally okay and totally real to write out my thoughts and frustrations and complexities and just be ok with this blog ending in NOT having all the answers. I want to learn to invite God into my mess. And realize that I don't know what I'm doing and THAT'S OKAY. God is leading me somewhere HUGE and I feel it so strongly in my heart and I have absolutely NO CLUE what it is or where it's going, BUT THAT IS OKAY. Holy waz, does anyone else need to hear this tonight??  I have the freedom now. Freedom to explode for His Kingdom and make mistakes along the way. I can celebrate who I am and more importantly, who HE is. I don't have to be afraid of making mistakes, making everyone happy, being the 'perfect' christian... I don't even have to understand. I don't have to know. I can have child like faith: trusting completely that my Father is watching over me and guiding me and revealing to me the way he wants me to go. Friends, I have found beauty in this tonight. Thanks for tagging along :)
 
 

You Are God's Masterpiece

  Have you ever done a very complex art project?  Maybe a painting, a sketch, a sculpture?  Maybe you've watched someone do one.  But either way, you know that any beautiful project takes time and oh so much patience.  It takes precision, inspiration, delicate strokes, harsh corrections, bright colors, dark shadows, long periods of waiting for paint or clay to dry, a few breaks here and there so that you can come back with a fresh vision, and through it all... perseverance!  From where you start with the project to where you end is vastly different.  Your paper, canvas, or clay has gone through many changes!  Sometimes, during your project, the piece didn't even resemble your intended end result! Not even close; but you hopefully kept guiding the piece and correcting the imperfections until your result was perfect in your sight!
  I love thinking of my God as an artist.  1). because he is and 2). because it's a great way put your own life into perspective.  You are His masterpiece and he is sculpting you every day.  The Master Artist is working slowly and diligently to make your life beautiful.  Think about this whole earth for a second.  God made this whole earth in 168 hours.  He took 7 whole days to create this whole beautiful earth and that is a long time to spend on an art project.  Just think of all the time he is spending on YOU!!  Doesn't that have to mean that we are far more beautiful than even this massive, creative and wonderful earth??  We are inspired by the likeness of God!  Those delicate strokes or bright colors can come as soft joy, friendship, new life, finding your soul mate and many other things.  Harsh corrections or dark shadows may come as tragedies, hard breakups, unfair relationships, divorced parents, someone close to you moving out of your life and pretty much anything hard.  Sometimes we feel as though God has forgotten us, especially when our wounds are fresh and we want to heal.  We cry out to him and wait.  I believe in those moments we have to trust the process and let the paint dry.  If we moved on now, the paint would smudge with everything else and nothing would be clear in the end; we wouldn't know why the artist made the strokes that he did.  We persevere and the end result is the most beautiful project of all time: Your soul.  Complete and lacking in nothing.  We live for eternity with our God and all is complete. You will only see the whole picture and the process will now seem worth it.  You may not even remember some of the strokes that seemed unnecessary at the time.  Anything beautiful takes time, patience, and perseverance.
  My broken prayer for you is that "He may grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans" (Psalm 20:4) and that you remember "We are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he has planned for us long ago" (Ephesians 2:10).

welcome to my blog :)

  This blog is inspired by my close friends and family who push me and help me grow in my faith while I am learning to be a woman of God.  Life is not meant to be done alone and my broken prayer is that this blog will touch at least one person's heart and make them feel as tho they are not alone.  I am not perfect. I am not put together. I am nowhere near good at writing.  I am not all that interesting but I am a daughter of THE Most High King.  This blog will follow my life as I learn to live as though my savior paid the highest price for my life, and not just that I'm free for no reason at all.  I am discovering what it means to live in light of Christ.  I am free to live my life for Him! YOU are free to live your life for Him!  You have HIS approval and that is all that you need to live your life to the fullest.  Joy in the Lord is joy that cannot be taken from you.

  My brain is all over the place but I hope you can still follow along with me :)